This interesting little piece of body comes from Rate My Tattoos (via FanIQ) and it’s probably a pretty good representation of today’s rivalry game. Ohio State is dominating Michigan to absolutely nobody’s surprise behind a 59 yard Beanie Wells touchdown run and a 53 yard touchdown catch from Brian Hartline that has accounted for most of Terrell Pryor’s passing yards. Pretty much everything about Michigan has been god fucking awful to this point. The only real question is whether they’ll finish this game with or without positive offensive yardage. So far, it’s looking like a toss-up. Elsewhere, Purdue is stomping their in-state rivals into the ground while West Virginia and Louisville are tied at 7 because Noel Devine stumbled on his way into the endzone on fourth down just before halftime. Continue after the jump for the comments.
So I turned on the channel that I thought was ABC and saw Rutgers vs Army. Then I found the real ABC and the Ohio State/Michigan game. The only way this could have been worse is turnig on ABC and hearing Pam Ward say “welcome to Iowa where the Hawkeyes are taking Northwestern. ” -drscooter19
Michigan’s defense, spending more time on the field than the Ohio State Grounds Crew does, combined, during the week. -Fraganhome
Pam Ward gets Indiana-Purdue. And immediately, everyone in the state of Indiana puts it on mute. HA HA, FUCKERS! -KingDonut66
Paul McGuire is on the tOSU/Michigan sideline hunched over on a chair with a blanket on his lap, a cup of coffee in hand, and he is visibly spitting while he’s talking. Who knew Lou Holtz had a twin.
- SoonerSteve
Forget a college football playoff. President-Elect Obama needs to put his weight behind the Guns Up! Bill, which would keep rifles and assault weapons out of the hands of Lee Corso. -Signal2Noise
New discovery: Bill Stewart Face : college football :: Norv Face : NFL -Signal2Noise
Who this “Dexter Fishmore” fool? Damn… gotta change my AIM handle to CamNewtonianPhysics before five-oh figure out this laptop ain’t mine. Don’t wanna have to defenstrate another these bitchez…. -Dexter Fishmore
its “saved by the bell” on fox vs ohio st-michigan on ABC. This is a lot closer than it should be — then again, Kelly and Zack break up in this episode and I keep expecting Jessie to nail him in a pool. -Zombie Jesus X
May the loser of the Apple Cup be doomed to a year of hitting themselves in the crotch with a rubber mallet. -colbypkp678
You know what’s less depressing to watch than this Michigan-Ohio State game? CNBC’s stock tickers re-creating 1929. -fraganhome
It is not a good week for back-up quarterbacks. First it was Florida, now the Jets. It seems that Jets Rookie QB Erik Ainge was suspended four games by the NFL on Friday for violating the league’s policy on steroids and related substances. It doesn’t seem to be a huge loss for the team:
Ainge’s suspension has no immediate impact on the roster, as he was put on injured reserve Oct. 29 with a foot injury. The suspension does cost Ainge money, however, as he will forfeit four game checks.
The other Jets player to be suspended this season was running back Jesse Chatman, who missed the first four games. Chatman, coincidentally, also was put on injured reserve Oct. 29 after suffering a knee injury against the Chiefs on Oct. 26.
Well shit. There goes my fantasy team.
• Noon - Michigan at Ohio State [ABC]
• Noon - West Virginia at Louisville [ESPN]
• Noon - Indiana at Purdue [ESPN2]
• Noon - Yale at Harvard [Versus]
• 2:00 - LPGA: ADT Championship, Third Round [Golf Channel]
• 2:30 - Syracuse at Notre Dame
• 3:00 - Washington at Washington State [FSN]
• 3:30 - Boston College at Wake Forest [ESPN]
• 3:30 - Michigan State at Penn State or Stanford at California [ABC]
• 3:30 - Mississippi at LSU [CBS]
• 3:30 - Air Force at TCU [Versus]
• Erin Andrews chats with Dave Hollander, pretends not to know what Facebook is. Also thinks her being one of sports most talked about personalities isn’t as good as being a cheerleader. In talking about her dancing says at Florida, Andrews says, “I’m still close with a lot of the girls. A few of them went on to become Lakers Girls, Denver Broncos cheerleaders. I was the only one who turned out to be nothing. All the rest of ‘em danced for NFL teams and I didn’t do anything.” Oh gag me with the humility spoon. [FanHouse]
• Rasheed Wallace brings us a video of the nicknames he gave his teammates. I’m still trying to figure out “coffee with no cream”. [Yardbarker]
• After watching Brock Lesnar become the UFC heavyweight champion in just his fourth professional fight this weekend, it got us thinking: has anyone else jumped to the forefront of his sport with such ease? In his honor, here are our Top 12 Fast Risers in Sports History. [Pyle of List]
In front of a pep rally crowd of over 6,500 spectators, Joe Paterno announced that, despite rumors, he has no intentions of retiring, meaning he’ll be staying on for 2009. An exciting announcement for sure, unless you’re one of the Penn State boosters. Or the athletic director. Or anyone with any sense. Seriously, how do you get rid of a legend like JoePa when he’s clearly past his expiration date and announcing another year of coaching?
Shaking a metal walking cane at his Rally in the Valley audience, the 81-year-old head football coach declared, “No matter what you read, no matter what you think, I’m not going away tomorrow.
“I believe in what Penn State is all about,” Paterno told the Nittany Lions faithful. “I’m not going to walk out of that press box a loser.”
Penn State needs a win against Michigan State today to earn a trip to the Rose Bowl for the first time in 13 years. Michigan State could steal the bid with a win against Penn State and an Ohio State loss. Not an easy task, as the Spartans have lost 10 straight games against ranked opponents.
• A BCS bid is at stake today for Utah, with a must-win match-up against BYU today. The Utes are unbeaten and ranked eighth in the country. May the best Mormon win.
• A full schedule of today’s games coming up in For Your Viewing Pleasure.
Just a reminder to send in your comments to The Hugh Johnson on AIM. Only you can make Indiana-Purdue entertaining!
Coach K and the Blues Devils took home the title in the 2K Sports Classic at Madison Square Garden. Duke was able to easily defeat Michigan 71-56, despite a 25 point performance by the Wolvernines’ Manny Harris. The Blue Devils won all four of their games in the 2K Sports Classic by an average of 28.5 points, which just happens to match the dollar amount for which the devil purchased Coach K’s soul.
• UNC’s golden son Tyler Hansbrough played well in his first game back on the court after his season was delayed by a minor leg injury. The Tar Heels knocked off UC Santa Barbara in a 84-67 win. According to UNC coach Roy Williams, Hansbrough was a gametime decision, a decision that I’m sure was influenced by the injury to the “other Tyler” Zeller.
But players injuries seem to be the least of the problems with last night’s game. According to the wire reports,”Santa Barbara’s rabid students were warned by the public address announcer before tip-off to keep their chants clean.” Boy, there is nothing worse than fans with rabies.
• Stephen Curry had yet another impressive performance with 30 points and a career-high 13 assists in Davidson’s 97-70 trouncing of Winthrop last night. The nation’s leading scorer is making his transition from shooting guard to point guard quite well.
“I’m still making mistakes out there, making careless turnovers,” Curry insisted. “I’ve got to figure out how to control the ball a little better. I think in transition I’ve got it pretty much where I need to be.”
I’m filling in my bracket already. Davidson FTW.
Vince Carter bitch slapped his former team, scoring 39 points, hitting a game-tying three at the buzzer, and reverse dunking in the Nets 129-127 OT win over Toronto. The loss was bittersweet for the Raptors’ Chris Bosh who finished the game with 42 points. New Jersey’s Devon Harris contributed his own 30 points to the win before calling Carter’s performance “incredible”.
“He’s been doing that his whole career, but I’ve never seen it firsthand,” Harris said. “I was out there watching it just like everybody else.”
Harris’ performance came despite feeling a little pukey from his pre-game grilled cheese sandwich. Word on the street is that he left the game, threw up, and came back. All in attendance were glad he did it in that order.
• In other OT news, Dwight Howard had a double-double in Orlando’s 100-98 win over Indiana. Howard finished with 24 points, 17 rebounds and five blocks. Unfortunately if your name is Dwight Howard, nobody is impressed. Especially teammate Jameer Nelson.
“It’s not a shock to us when he has games like that anymore,” Nelson said. “He’s done it so many times in his career so far, we expect numbers like that from him. He’s our guy and we expect him to do great things for us.”
Geez. Tough crowd.
• Elton Brand hit a 15 footer with less than a minute to go to give the 76ers the 89-88 win over the Clippers. This was Brand’s first game against the team he jilted with no explanation after last season for an $80 million contract with Philadelphia. LA coach Mike Dunleavy is still playing the woman scorned.
“If he called me up and said, ‘Coach, I know I told you I was coming back, but I think a situation came up that’s better for my family, I’m going to move on,’ then, hey, sorry to hear it, but I wish you the best and good luck,” Dunleavy said before the game.
Yeah, right.
• I happened to be in attendance for the Wizards inspiring 103-91 loss to the Rockets. Washington held a number of leads as high as 12 points and managed to blow them all. The high point of the game was the unveiling of Gilbert Arenas’ wax statue, a reminder to the fans who may have forgotten what Gilbert looks like in uniform.
• The Knicks took on the Bucks with a limited roster thanks to yesterday’s trading frenzy so Stephon Marbury finally got his chance to play. He said no.
Florida Gators backup quarterback, Cameron Newton, was arrested, charged with felony burglary, and suspended from the team after stealing a classmate’s laptop. Newton got caught when, in a stroke of genius, he used the stolen laptop to access the school’s network. Oh, but that’s not all. When he realized he was going to be caught, he threw the laptop out of his dorm window.
A student reported the computer stolen Oct. 16, according to the police report, and an investigation
University police went to Newton’s dorm Friday, were invited inside and noticed the laptop on Newton’s desk. Officers left the room to confirm that the computer matched the serial code of the laptop reported stolen, according to the report. When they returned, it was gone.
According to police, the laptop had been painted black on the top and had “Cam Newton” written on the top in white paint. Officers found the computer behind a trash bin outside the dorm and learned that “Mr. Newton threw the computer out of his bedroom window,” the report said.
Arrested, kicked off the team, and referred to in the headlines only as “Tebow’s backup”. Talk about insult to injury.
Now when you think about it, players can’t have jobs, can’t accept gifts, and generally have no money. What’s left to do but pimp some nerd’s computer? Am I right? Free Newton!
Watch for falling objects around Cam Newton’s dorm room [Dr. Saturday]
Breaking News: The Oklahoma City Thunder have fired coach P.J. Carlesimo following a 1-12 start. The seal has been broken so Eddie Jordan should probably be pretty nervous right now.
